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Posted by: CHLeong Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:19 am

I noticed that there is this old tree, was told more than 50 years old. On the outside it looks strong and seems to provide shade for everyone. But recently, after a few heavy down pour, its branches started to snap and leaves start to drop. Instead of providing shade, it is damaging cars, providing bird’s droppings, etc. Although its roots look strong, but on closer inspection, the tree was rotting to its core. Some expert, wanted to ban it while others want to give it a chance. Reptile experts recently discovered a Long Limbless Creature living on it which is causing it to rot further. According to the experts, this Long Limbless Creature has to two poisonous fangs and a fork tongue!
In view of the danger pose to the community by this tree and its tenant, I was wondering any forumer here can tell me which department should I call to have this tree cut down?

Posted by: The Matrix Wed, 27 Jun 2007 11:56 am

Have Mercy .... I beg u .... spare the knife

Must tie a yellow ribbon around this old tree liao. 50 yrs old leh, got spirits living inside, cannot suka suka cut one leh. I bet sure a lot of people come to pray and ask for magical numbers.

Somemore got divine creature living inside the core. Goodness .... the creature and the tree co-exist together leh, must be protected and studied.

How about calling Sentosa IR dept since they are shifting trees. It will definitely attract more viewers than destroying the tree and mythical creature .... that's wat casino is all about isn't it.

Posted by: goldie Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:38 pm

Heard somebody saw the mystical creature before.

Creature pop-eye one like pop-eye celestrial fish.

I also heard all those who pray for lucky numbers from this tree end up got their fingers burnt.

Posted by: The Matrix Wed, 27 Jun 2007 1:43 pm

That's exactly wat the casino resort is all about !!!

Come here pray, then go there play
There is no sin, the divine says

Hv no fear, come n stay
We'll feed u nights and days

Dun be scare, do not fray
All u need is to pay

Posted by: kitsilano Wed, 27 Jun 2007 2:04 pm

Wandering spirits..really wondering whether this spirit wander into RG or not. Maybe yes in RG act as good spirit...can this spirit mend his way? Saddened to hear of so many scandals in the newspaper...lawyers running away with clients money. Old Age home saga...charity money also disappeared. The victims of scandals beside the victims are always the family members like wife and daughters.

JUDAS!!!

Posted by: desireless Wed, 27 Jun 2007 2:15 pm

With so many evil tress killing people lately, better to chop it off.










BUT!

Do not fall for the ploy of this EVIL rotting tree, because this is exactly how it wants you to think! It likes to play victim! When cutter wants to cut tree down, he will surely be stopped by naive environmentalists, brain-washed tree LOVERs, and of course those despicable Long Limbless Craps living below. The tree will want these supporters to think that the cutter wants to cut it down because he is JEALOUS (woooo... so jeeaalousss ) that it "attracts the most attention" and "looks" strongest (from the outside) among the other "greener" trees around. Yes, the sharped-eye can see that this tree is rotting from inside. For the good of people around it, the tree has to be cut down. But the tree simply don't care. So are the brainwashed followers. It just wants to stay supported and receive all the attention it wants. Then it can stir, stir and stir.

Since it is going to happen, then might as welll wait for the rotted tree to fall and kill those boycotting idiots forming a human-block around it, including the those Long Limbless Creatures living below.

It narrows down to: We can only save those who wants to be saved. Those who stubbornly ignore the danger signs, news reports and the history of this rotted tree, well, good luck to them.

Posted by: top_view_ranchu Wed, 27 Jun 2007 2:30 pm

Wah......today all so England! Let me try....

Outside look strong tree, strong tree......
Inside is rotted tree, rotted tree......
Can understand save kaki, save kaki......
Cannot then go LIM KOPI, LIM KOPI......

How? Power?

Posted by: CHLeong Wed, 27 Jun 2007 3:13 pm

Look like nobody can tell me which department to call, so I shall leave it alone. Anyway, since it is rotting, let it be and the Long Limbless Creature will move on to another tree and devour the host again. Truly a terrible pest!
Although I have a love for nature, but this Long Limbless Creature to me equate to a pest, worst then housefly or mosquitoes. I might swat at these bugs but for this Long Limbless Creature, it is better to capture it, put it in a cage and display to the whole wide world.
It is unfortunate that such a nice place, where we called Garden City, stood such terrible tree and its hidden tenant.

Posted by: desireless Wed, 27 Jun 2007 4:47 pm

To cut a 50yr-old plus tree, you'll have to go to National Parks Board for that.

But are you sure the slimey Long Limbless Creature is a seperate entity? If so, then you'll have to call Pest Control. I thought that it is a piece of tree's crap or maybe a tree dxxk. Always thought it is a part of the tree itself to attract victims into the hole for its consumption. Wah.. scary evil tree

Posted by: peter porker Wed, 27 Jun 2007 5:36 pm

At first I thought it was some cryptic, tongue in cheek post but seems like its the real deal.

Stick to ranchus.

Posted by: CHLeong Wed, 27 Jun 2007 9:21 pm

I called the National Garden Board (NGB) and it goes...."Thank you for calling, for English please press one, Hua Yu Qing An Er.Press 0 for the operator .......All our operators are busy at the moment please hold....Your call is important to us and we will get back to you shortly" Then the line cut! Darn, so many rotten tree meh??!!
Finally got through, they said they will send someone to investigate but after I told them about the Long Limbless Creature (LLC), they told me to contact the Zoo! I called the Zoo but they said they do not handle pest and directed me to Ministry Of Surrounding. MOS, however said that are busy with mozzies and since it involves trees I should goes to NGB!
I got angry, feel like marching into a police station. Since I have colleague who is an ex-policeman, I consulted him but he said that the criminal law has nothing to do with trees and pest unless it is a con job! Darn, what has trees and Long Limbless Creatures got to do with con job?! Pick up the phone and I spoke to my classmate,
Me: “Can I speak to CJ Cheng?”
Sect:“Who is this calling and do you have an appointment?”
Me: “Can you convey to him this is CHLeong?”
Sect: “Hold on please”
CJ Cheng: “Halo, brother!”
Me: “Chief Justice Cheng!”
CJ Cheng: “Don’t call me like that lah, me just a lawyer”
Me: “Ah pui, basket ball have a rotten tree and LLC, called all the people involved, everybody siam, so end up calling you.”
CJ Cheng: “ Halo, please hor, this kind of thing please don’t waste my time. I charge people by time. If I have time to sit down with you even for lunch it means I got nothing else to do!”
So in the end it seems like everyone is busy, so went to the site look at the tree and try to spot LLC. Alamak waste my time lah, better go home prepare for my trip to BKK, more exciting there.
However, forumers in my absence, if you spot the Long Limbless Creature do help me to throw a few stone at it! Thank you for helping me.

Posted by: The Matrix Wed, 27 Jun 2007 9:50 pm

Erh ... u still fail your test
for it is not a pest
try again with your best
from the hint of its nest

here you go in a quest
destroy the beast we detest
stick your sword, not your crest
till it falls, thou shalt not rest

Dave ... wanna power it up ?

Posted by: desireless Wed, 27 Jun 2007 10:56 pm

That was quite a good one but listen to my masterpiece....

ahem...

(Please tune to http://au.geocities.com/ab20613kimo/dream.wma)

"All I Have to Do Is To Be A Rotten Tree" by "The Rotting Strong Tree"

Tree..ee..ee..., strong strong tree...
Tree..ee..ee..., rot-ten tree...

When I sell fish,
say got tikum
If you believe me,
you are kong kum
I always tok chai tau
Still peo-ple call me
A tree...ee..ee, strong strong tree

When I feel blue
In the night
I will need you
To pick a fight
I always tok chai tau
Still peo-ple call me
A tree...ee..ee

I can show you my
setup oh so fine
Just buy me,
one kopi
Only trouble is
Gee Whiz
MY FISH-ES ARE DY-ING AWAY...

Don't tell you so
You wor-ship me
Enemies so
Jealous of me
I always tok chai tau
Still peo-ple call me
A tree...ee..ee, strong strong tree...
Tree...ee..ee...

I can show you my
setup oh so fine
Just buy me,
one kopi
Only trouble is
Gee Whiz
MY FISH-ES ARE DY-ING AWAY...

Don't tell you so
You wor-ship me
Enemy so
Jealous of me
I always tok chai tau
Still peo-ple call me
A tree..ee..ee..., strong strong tree...
Tree..ee..ee..., rot-ten tree...

====

Kiang hor?
OK, ok... thank you thank you

Posted by: goldie Thu, 28 Jun 2007 9:35 am

Wow, I also wanna try.

Here it goes :-

I am the mystical creature from the rotting tree,
Those who pray to me, sure mati.
You can forget about buying 4D or Jap Zhi Ki.
I have got 4 pests supporting me.
But when dangers lurks, they only look-see look-see.
When people passed by, the sure pee on me.

Hope I pass.

Posted by: top_view_ranchu Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:18 am

Power up? Not easy also die die must try!

Creature and tree

Creature clinch on tree, stirring his ah thee.
Whispered softly, thou art mighty.

Rotten tree sibeh silly, really feel mighty.
Go everywhere Lim kopi.

One day ah ra gi, horny cum itchi.
Free free, start to spank monkey.

Creature feel scary, packed his Lau Lan Chi.
Ji gi ku ji ki.

Tree thought he buddy, still don't know he flee.
Will cry like machiam thy thee.

Rotten tree ah rotten tree, now can do sim mi?
Stop being a cry baby, bring forth his Almighty.



Matrix, how? Can pin up?

Posted by: The Matrix Fri, 29 Jun 2007 1:38 pm

Wah Cow ... Gree-d

U all write till the milk cow goes up the tree
poetry so long i think u all very free
nonetheless i wont disagree
there are some truth in certain degree

surely it not a money tree
these poor cow got milked for free
couldnt resist, couldnt disagree
sucked dry from all degree

we are here to look at the tree
with those people we have free-d
i believe they will never disagree
it is all a matter of degree

Posted by: Hikari Fri, 29 Jun 2007 4:52 pm

I read england england everywhere,
Suddenly so many people here to share,
What said here is happening there,
Lucky for us, we actually don’t care.

Whether it is an old tree or LLC,
In the end all also hai ka ki,
Some claim they have lawyer as khaki,
Come on man, in SG there are so many!

Talk so loud everywhere they go,
All because want to upkeep their ego,
Telling people got apply patent boh,
Alamak, I think he is truly a bodoh.

We never have to spend anything,
But our khaki number is climbing,
Our doors are open and they keep coming,
This is because we are never cunning!

We are not crazy or silly,
Always smiling and friendly,
We are happy and go lucky,
Why? Because we are blessed by the Almighty!

Those who goes heaven will met at the gate,
Many will go in and none will be late,
Questions will be asked but don’t act bedek,
You always will be culprit even if you are dead!

Down is the way for you as they close the gate,
But even down there, the boss is afraid,
So they tell you, “We are full but we will keep you update”
Cham ah cham, now no where to go it is really pek chek!

Posted by: goldrush Mon, 02 Jul 2007 12:29 am

So many poets ,so many story tellers .Which leaves me very little for me to pen.

So let me retell this all time favorite feary tail, named, SINDAFELLA to all here

Your story teller cum poet,


********

Posted by: The Matrix Mon, 02 Jul 2007 11:58 am

thats a sad tail ....