Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

> RG Random Joke Archive
HappyBuddha
post Tue, 20 Jul 2004 6:59 pm
Post #1


Founder
Group Icon


Member No.: 2
Group: Super Admin
Posts: 2,893
Topics Started: 330
Joined: 21-Nov-03
Last seen online:
Sat, 16 Oct 2004 1:46 pm
User's local time:
Sat, 16 Dec 2017 4:52 pm
Green Water: Yes
Country: Singapore



Q: How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?

A: Even the pool tables don't have balls.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
Replies
goldrush
post Mon, 22 Aug 2005 11:10 pm
Post #2


RG Doc.com
Group Icon

User Gallery
Member No.: 319
Group: Forum Doctor
Posts: 3,327
Topics Started: 377
Joined: 25-Jun-04
Last seen online:
Tue, 03 Oct 2017 11:38 pm
User's local time:
Sat, 16 Dec 2017 4:52 pm
Green Water: No
Country: Singapore



My Dog Named SEX

hump.gif

Everybody who owns dog give it a usual name like Lassie,RintinTin or Lucky

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.

He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."

The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."


hysterical.gif hysterical.gif hysterical.gif

hump.gif

IPB Image
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

Posts in this topic
HappyBuddha   RG Random Joke Archive   Tue, 20 Jul 2004 6:59 pm
HappyBuddha   Q: Why did Cleopatra take milk baths? A: She coul...   Mon, 02 Aug 2004 8:47 pm
HappyBuddha   Q: Why do Jewish Women go for circumcised men? A:...   Mon, 16 Aug 2004 12:41 pm
Seacucumber   Q)Why do moths fly with their legs open? A)Check ...   Mon, 16 Aug 2004 9:44 pm
LASERGUY   Q: what did the cock tells the balls ? A: Hang a...   Tue, 17 Aug 2004 12:45 am
CP   Why is it pathetic to be a cock? You have a head ...   Tue, 17 Aug 2004 1:07 pm
HappyBuddha   Q: What is the difference between roast beef and p...   Thu, 02 Sep 2004 5:11 pm
Seacucumber   SMLC!?!?!?   Thu, 02 Sep 2004 6:45 pm
HappyBuddha   Everybody can roast beef ... ... NOBODY can peeee...   Thu, 02 Sep 2004 7:25 pm
mountain   ta ma de ..... i had to read 3 times ... :happ...   Fri, 03 Sep 2004 11:25 pm
HappyBuddha   Grin. Now you know why I don't like pea soup...   Sat, 04 Sep 2004 5:54 am
cktan   A TRUE JOKE OF LAST YEAR. I hv spend most of the ...   Thu, 02 Sep 2004 9:47 pm
Seacucumber   bring her to Geylang and show her which "fi...   Thu, 02 Sep 2004 11:18 pm
desireless   Another way of looking at this: Once she look at...   Sat, 04 Sep 2004 12:49 am
HappyBuddha   Q: What are the worst 3 years of a blondes life? ...   Mon, 13 Sep 2004 9:45 pm
HappyBuddha   What is the worst thing that can happen to a bat w...   Thu, 07 Oct 2004 9:44 pm
LASERGUY   George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes t...   Wed, 27 Oct 2004 6:12 pm
desireless   One day the first grade teacher was reading the st...   Thu, 28 Oct 2004 1:55 am
CP   Father was showing a machine he invented to son. F...   Thu, 28 Oct 2004 2:00 pm
top_view_ranchu   Willy was at this agricultural show. Came across t...   Thu, 28 Oct 2004 2:42 pm
Allan   Q: What did the dumb blond say to the large breast...   Mon, 13 Dec 2004 8:30 pm
desireless   Bar Bet --------- The local bar was so sure that...   Thu, 28 Apr 2005 7:54 pm
CP   :rofl3 :rofl3 :rofl3 After which I would li...   Thu, 28 Apr 2005 11:39 pm
CP   My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a yea...   Fri, 08 Jul 2005 9:21 pm
desireless   This one's for people who understands Hokkein....   Thu, 14 Jul 2005 7:26 pm
CP   PERFORMANCE IN BED Accountants do it with...   Fri, 19 Aug 2005 5:28 pm
goldrush   Hahahahahhaah How about you cp? As a contractor ...   Fri, 19 Aug 2005 7:12 pm
CP   As a contractor I do it in Singapore to JB and som...   Fri, 19 Aug 2005 9:24 pm
goldrush   My Dog Named SEX :hump Everybody who owns...   Mon, 22 Aug 2005 11:10 pm
goldrush   Supermodels - Where's the runway..!! ...   Fri, 23 Sep 2005 8:53 pm
desireless   Interesting........ Twenty Great One Liners: 1....   Wed, 12 Oct 2005 8:17 pm
desireless   Letters Between An Old Couple ====================...   Thu, 20 Oct 2005 5:36 pm
top_view_ranchu   A man checked into a hotel in DELHI.There was a co...   Mon, 24 Oct 2005 12:16 pm
top_view_ranchu   Man must read. I never quite figured out why the ...   Tue, 25 Oct 2005 2:13 pm
desireless   [b]SYSTEM UPGRADE Dear Technical Support: Last y...   Sat, 19 Nov 2005 5:25 pm
desireless   [center]Chinese Names To Avoid When Naming Your Ch...   Tue, 07 Feb 2006 6:28 pm
goldrush   Dog Named Mypenis Tired of boring old dog name l...   Wed, 15 Feb 2006 6:26 pm
gohks   :rofl3 :rofl3 :rofl3 most funny joke I have come...   Wed, 15 Feb 2006 6:39 pm
goldrush   Glossary of Medical Terms Alternative Medical Term...   Wed, 15 Feb 2006 6:40 pm
CP   Wonder if the doc himself heard of this joke: Pa...   Wed, 15 Feb 2006 9:40 pm
desireless   ...for all you chinese n humourous Catholics....an...   Thu, 16 Feb 2006 8:05 pm
CP   Ever wondered why bra sizes are categorised A to F...   Mon, 13 Mar 2006 11:33 pm
desireless   [u]Friendship [u]Friendship Between Women: A woma...   Wed, 15 Mar 2006 6:17 pm
desireless   Doing Housework Jenny's husband, Charley, was...   Sat, 18 Mar 2006 12:48 am
desireless   Penis Study In 1993, the American Government fund...   Sat, 18 Mar 2006 12:50 am
desireless   A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABCHos...   Wed, 29 Mar 2006 3:45 am
desireless   Lakeside Story In the heat of summer a fly was r...   Thu, 06 Apr 2006 2:47 am
desireless   Black Testicles A male patient is lying in bed in...   Sun, 09 Apr 2006 4:13 am
mountain   A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ba...   Tue, 16 May 2006 9:19 pm
CP   A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their ...   Sun, 04 Jun 2006 7:17 pm
desireless   An old, white haired man walked into a jewellery s...   Sun, 20 Aug 2006 6:09 am
gohks   A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia.. He was...   Wed, 30 Aug 2006 11:56 am
desireless   WIFE FROM HELL A police officer pulls over a spee...   Tue, 06 Mar 2007 2:03 am
desireless   Quite a stupid joke. No need to understand if you ...   Tue, 06 Mar 2007 2:27 am
desireless   Before the marriage : He : Yes. At last. It was ...   Tue, 26 Jun 2007 5:16 pm
desireless   Woman has Man in it; Mrs has Mr in it; Female ha...   Fri, 27 Jul 2007 8:50 pm
goldrush   Wah if you are HOME ALONE......you must be doing i...   Fri, 27 Jul 2007 9:58 pm
CP   Living in 2007 YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 w...   Wed, 17 Oct 2007 9:35 pm
CP   The Maid asked for a raise. The Madam was very up...   Tue, 18 Dec 2007 1:15 pm
CP   Some Malaysian jokes to help those who have yet to...   Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:35 pm
CP   Why did the olympics torch skip the singapore leg?...   Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:48 pm
LASERGUY   5 minute management course: Lesson 1: A man is g...   Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:38 pm
CP   *Men's Pearls of Wisdom* *1. When I was b...   Sat, 22 Aug 2009 4:19 pm
LASERGUY   Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having...   Fri, 23 Oct 2009 7:07 pm


Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 



- Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 16-Dec-17 4:52 pm
Logo
RSS

Site Map
RafflesGold - Web Space for Goldfish Lovers
Copyrighted © 2003-2006 RafflesGold.com. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Terms of Service and Privacy Policy
RafflesGold.com is a non-profit independent hobbyist supported forum based in Singapore
Donate to keep us operational
Link to Us
Contact Us