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A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."

"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"

So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"

"No I'm a blonde", she replies.

"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.
A blonde walks into a shop and says to the shop keeper can i buy that TV please and the shop keeper says sorry we dont sell to blondes....

So the next day the blonde goes back to the shop but this time she dyes her hair red and says " can i buy that TV please?" and the shop keeper says "no we dont sell to blondes,"

So the next day the blonde gets a face lift and dyes her hair again and goes back to the shop and says to the shopkeeper can i buy that TV please and once again the shopkeeper says sorry we dont sell to blondes! so the blonde goes how did you know i am blonde? and the shopkeeper replies because its a microwave not a TV!
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
A blonde is terribly proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months and the box said "2 to 4 years".
Two blondes rent a boat to go fishing on the lake. They start catching fish like crazy as soon as they put the hook in the water. After a few hours they grew tired and wanted to take a break and come back tomorrow.

"How are we going to find the same good fishing spot?", the first blonde asks.

"Silly, let's mark the spot!", says the the second blonde and pulls out her lipstick and writes a huge red X on the bottom of the boat.

"You are so stupid!", yells the first blonde. "What if we don't get the same boat!?"
This picture says it all
Breast stroke

A blonde, a brunette and a red head competed in a 50 meters breast stroke race. The brunette finished in first place followed by the red haired girl. The blonde girl finished way behind.

Immediately, after she finished the race, the blonde complained about the other two girls in the race. She demanded that they be disqualified. "Why?", asked the referee.

Agitated she spoke, "They were using their arms !"
First Day

A blonde school teacher started her first job at a primary school and was eager to make a good impression on the kids. So, when she noticed a boy standing all by himself during recess, while the other kids were playing a game of soccer, she walked up to him and asked "Are you alright ?"

The boy assured her everything was fine and the teacher left it at that. A few minutes later, however, she noticed that the boy was still standing alone and had not joined the other boys.

Deciding to find out what was wrong this time, the teacher approached him again and said, " Hi, are you sure you're not feeling left out? Would you like me to be your friend ?"

The boy obviously felt a little embarrassed, but after a little hesitation said, "Maybe". Encouraged by her progress, the teacher asked, "Tell me, why are you standing here alone?"

"Because", the boy said with clear exasperation in his voice. "I am the goal keeper."
Bottom deodorant

An irish girl walks into a pharmacy in Manhattan and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I always buy it here", the girl says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", the girl replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"

The next day, the Irish girl walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. "This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells the girl, "You use it under your arms".

"No, it is not", the girl answers, "it says so here":

"To apply, push up bottom"
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